The Spice Girls’ motto was Girl Power. It’s the era of Girl Power. Or is it? I see more and more women in the workforce and in the campus. Is that girl-power which is prevalent in universities as prevalent in the offices too? Is that same girl-power prevalent in the marriage too? No doubt the parents of a girl seek condolences – they have to educate her, find her a groom, arrange for the dowry, arrange for presents on every happy or sad occasion of her life and above all teach her to “Behave like a girl” - dutiful and docile - always nursing the male: first father, then husband, then son. Otherwise that ‘liability’ gets caught in “incidental fires” on the stove. She has to continue working so that her salary keeps the household machinery oiled. She has to give birth to the heirs to the family and then save more money to marry off her own daughters! The upper middle class grows and with it grows this ugly tradition. Sure, there is no harm in giving the bride some gifts but why is it that the ‘demands’ of the near-carnivorous groom’s family are never met. Why does a girl need to bring kilos and kilos of gold and silver jewels, or tickets to exotic honeymoon locations or her groom’s higher education fees? This needs to end in the upper middle class and the upper class families first. This status symbol has to go away – The race to give a better dowry than others has to end. When a family is blessed by a girl child – I get messages like – We have been blessed by a little angel! People congratulate the parents saying “Never mind – Laxmi has arrived”… If Laxmi has arrived then why mind? I am still waiting to hear “Never mind – Ganesha has arrived”. The parents are “warned” that they now need to start saving money for dowry (the dictionary meaning of which is Money or property brought by a bride to her husband at marriage). It’s a social arrangement which a new born child is immediately tied into. The child who is couple of hours old, and who will then grow up into a beautiful person, contributing actively to the prosperity of the very society which attaches this stigma to her. South and East Asians have one of the worst gender ratios. Female foeticide is an extreme demonstration of violence against women. The irony of the situation is that this trend is worse among educated urban families. So much for woman liberation!

Shilpi M Agarwal